Girl Scout Adventures

I love being my daughter's girl scout leader, even if I hadn't planned on it. Last year my daughter became a 1st time girl scout. She was a daisy and was really excited. I had done girl scouts about a million years ago, when I was 6 so I thought it would be fun for McKayla. About 2 weeks into the Girl Scout year, the leader asked me if I would Co-Lead the troop with her because her friend had flaked out on her. I told her that it would be no problem because I wanted to be at meetings to spend time with McKayla. It didn't take long for me to realize that the leader had no idea what she was doing and out of no where, she stopped coming. So the responsibility of leading these girls and teaching them the girl scout values was left on my shoulders. It is definitely one of the better things to have happened to me. I really love my girls and and in my second year as a leader.

This year we are doing more trips and community service. We went to the pumpkin patch in the beginning of October, served lunch for the habitat for humanity volunteers, and marched in the Veteran's day parade.





I fee really lucky to be able to experience these things with my own daughter and be able to positively touch the lives of my other girl scouts.

Betsy Ross Style

Just a small post, my daisy troop didn't have a troop flag, and rather than pay the $60.00 it would have cost to buy one, I simply bought some material and sewed one myself. I did not, however, think to find a sewing machine, so this was done by hand... fun huhh?

Cake Boss-ish

So my brother Tyler had his 20th Birthday on the 16th. We are on a very strict, tight, budget right now, so there was no shower of gifts. Besides- he is joining the Army in a few months, so he really doesn't need anything. But I wanted to make his birthday as special as I could. I decided to channel Buddy from TLC's 'Cake Boss' and make him an outlandish cake. Please keep in mind that I do this from time to time, I see it on TV and think to myself, 'I can totally do that!' Well... I can, sort of. Of coarse my cake was not as mind blowing as the ones on TV, but for a Mommy/Student/Social Worker/Girl Scout Leader who has no experience or training in making cakes and virtually no time to make one- I think I did a pretty good job. And I did good enough where I plan on giving it another go for Max's 2nd Birthday in November!! Yea!

Somthing New

I am still getting over my loss, but I have so much else to write about. I have two beautiful children who are alive and well and they do so many amazing things. Not to mention the stuff that I do that doesn't suck. So I figured I would incorporate all of my many daily endeavors into my blog and if and when I do get pregnant again, and I am ready to share it with people, I will be able to write about that too. Why limit myself, right? SO I will leave this as a short one just a small explanation of what I am going to do and I to let everyone know that I am okay. Thanks for all the love and support.

the end

Well, I guess I am eating my own words now... In my first post I said that if something went wrong with my pregnancy I would have to share it with everyone. That is proving a harder statement to follow through with.

On Monday the 6th of September I was taken to the hospital. There I miscarried my pregnancy. It has been a very hard time for my family and I... I am lost between the world of rationality, where I understand that this is a unfortunately frequent occurrence and the world of panic and shock where I wonder why this happened to me, did I do or say something wrong? Doesn't god know what a good mother I am? It is a long arduous process, because even though my pregnancy is officially over, every day I am reminded of what is happening to be as my body cleans itself out.

Branden and I have decided that once it is medically safe for me, that we will try to get pregnant again. I have decided that the only real way for me to feel better about this situation is to complete my original goal of giving birth to a baby. Unfortunately, even if I do get pregnant again, it will be a very long time before I share it with anybody, I just do not see myself being able to go through this kind of stress and misery and turmoil publicly again. So if and when I do conceive again, you will all probably find out a when I am too far along to hid a pregnancy.

I appreciate my friends and family who have been so understanding, my closes friends and family know how important my children are to me and how much emphasis I place on being a good mother.

I still do not wish to discuss this publicly. I don't really care to have anymore condolences, I just wanted my friends to understand what I am going through right now and to not ask me about 'the baby' or 'the pregnancy' because neither exist anymore.

I am having a really hard time figuring out where to end this, so I jsut want to say thanks again for all the support.