Betsy Ross Style

Just a small post, my daisy troop didn't have a troop flag, and rather than pay the $60.00 it would have cost to buy one, I simply bought some material and sewed one myself. I did not, however, think to find a sewing machine, so this was done by hand... fun huhh?

Cake Boss-ish

So my brother Tyler had his 20th Birthday on the 16th. We are on a very strict, tight, budget right now, so there was no shower of gifts. Besides- he is joining the Army in a few months, so he really doesn't need anything. But I wanted to make his birthday as special as I could. I decided to channel Buddy from TLC's 'Cake Boss' and make him an outlandish cake. Please keep in mind that I do this from time to time, I see it on TV and think to myself, 'I can totally do that!' Well... I can, sort of. Of coarse my cake was not as mind blowing as the ones on TV, but for a Mommy/Student/Social Worker/Girl Scout Leader who has no experience or training in making cakes and virtually no time to make one- I think I did a pretty good job. And I did good enough where I plan on giving it another go for Max's 2nd Birthday in November!! Yea!

Somthing New

I am still getting over my loss, but I have so much else to write about. I have two beautiful children who are alive and well and they do so many amazing things. Not to mention the stuff that I do that doesn't suck. So I figured I would incorporate all of my many daily endeavors into my blog and if and when I do get pregnant again, and I am ready to share it with people, I will be able to write about that too. Why limit myself, right? SO I will leave this as a short one just a small explanation of what I am going to do and I to let everyone know that I am okay. Thanks for all the love and support.

the end

Well, I guess I am eating my own words now... In my first post I said that if something went wrong with my pregnancy I would have to share it with everyone. That is proving a harder statement to follow through with.

On Monday the 6th of September I was taken to the hospital. There I miscarried my pregnancy. It has been a very hard time for my family and I... I am lost between the world of rationality, where I understand that this is a unfortunately frequent occurrence and the world of panic and shock where I wonder why this happened to me, did I do or say something wrong? Doesn't god know what a good mother I am? It is a long arduous process, because even though my pregnancy is officially over, every day I am reminded of what is happening to be as my body cleans itself out.

Branden and I have decided that once it is medically safe for me, that we will try to get pregnant again. I have decided that the only real way for me to feel better about this situation is to complete my original goal of giving birth to a baby. Unfortunately, even if I do get pregnant again, it will be a very long time before I share it with anybody, I just do not see myself being able to go through this kind of stress and misery and turmoil publicly again. So if and when I do conceive again, you will all probably find out a when I am too far along to hid a pregnancy.

I appreciate my friends and family who have been so understanding, my closes friends and family know how important my children are to me and how much emphasis I place on being a good mother.

I still do not wish to discuss this publicly. I don't really care to have anymore condolences, I just wanted my friends to understand what I am going through right now and to not ask me about 'the baby' or 'the pregnancy' because neither exist anymore.

I am having a really hard time figuring out where to end this, so I jsut want to say thanks again for all the support.